


Actually

by coliverwalsh



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 14:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2511071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coliverwalsh/pseuds/coliverwalsh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is short and unbetaed, but I wanted to write some kind of reconciliation for them cause I can't freakin' wait till we have the real one. And yes, there'll be a real one, you can't convince me otherwise.</p></blockquote>





	Actually

**Actually**

 

"Hey, Oliver, it's me. Again." Connor sighed, his hand tightening on the phone. "Listen, I-I know I fucked up, okay? But I just...I r-really need to see you." He took a deep breath and ended the message, the 'I miss you' left unsaid. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, the sadness that he had been feeling for the last couple of days swept through him once again.

What the fuck was wrong with him? It was okay to call once or twice after their fight, to at least say sorry, but actually feeling sorry?  
He fucked. He played men and men played him, it wasn’t a big deal. He liked it, the freedom of it all, the fact that that was a part of his life were he never felt the need to take any responsibilities. Actually, he despised them, that's why Connor Walsh doesn't do boyfriends.

Why, then, was he feeling this weight on his chest, that seemed to grow every time he replayed in his mind the words Oliver said to him that last night? Why the sight of Oliver's crying face that same night had made him want to wrap the man in his arms and never let him go?  
Why was he putting his sweatpants on, leaving his house in a hurry not even caring it was two in the morning, and driving to Oliver's apartment? He couldn't find an answer to all of those questions, but he actually didn't care, because the thought of actually seeing Oliver's face again was sending a thrill down his body and he didn't think he could stop himself even if he wanted to. Well, he didn't want to.

When he arrived at the building, he ran up the stairs, not even bothering to wait for the elevator. He stopped in front of the door number 303, his heart pounding and his breath short. He paused for a moment and then knocked twice, the loud thump of his hand on the wood echoed in the empty hallway.

It was after a minute, when he was about to knock again, that the door opened.  
Oliver stood there with a sleepy face and adorably mussed hair, his expression turned into a frown when he recognized the person standing in front of him.

"H-hi," Connor's tone was hesitant. He offered a shy smile.  
"Wait-what the...Why are you here, Connor?"

The other man hesitated, not giving an answer straight away. He was just too captured by the sight in front of him, Oliver's beautiful face filled with sadness. He just wanted to see him smile again, to make him laugh like he's done before.

His hesitation seemed to disappoint Oliver once again. "Just go away," he said, and with that he slammed the door.  
Connor flinched at the harsh sound. He rested his forehead on the wood, sobs shaking his body.

"No, no, no...Oliver please, just...Just listen to me." He was thumping the wall with his fist when he heard a noise from the other side of the door. Oliver was still there.  
"Ollie please, I'm begging you, just hear me out." He sighed when the door remained closed, no sign of movement from the other side of the wall. He decided to say what he had to say anyway.  
"I'm a mess." He slowly slid on the floor, resting his back on the door. "I'm a mess and I'm scared because I don't know how to fix myself. Well, I think I do know how, but I...I'm scared of  what that means.

I've been working out too much and not eating enough. And I can't sleep at night because I constantly feel this- this weight on my chest."  
He dried the tears that were slowly creating tracks down his cheeks and continued. "At first I ignored it. I thought it was because I couldn't fucking concentrate at work, because I was constantly messing up, but then I realized. I've been fucking miserable this past few days and it's all because of you. Because I scared you away. I keep checking my phone every other minute to see if you finally decided to call me back or send me a text, only to be disappointed when nothing's there. And you know what's the worst part? It's the fact that I know that I fucking deserve it."  
I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to me. I'm an asshole and I don't deserve you, and all that crap. But you know what? I want you. I want to be able to call you mine and, dammit, I want to be able to be called yours, too. I want to make you smile and to make you laugh. I want to be there when you're upset so that I can kiss that adorable pout away from your beautiful face. I want you to be there when I'm upset, because I actually feel that I can rely on you.  
So yes, I actually like you. I actually want to be with you. And I actually don't know what the fuck I'm doing, or feeling. But I can promise you one thing, and that is that I will actually try to be the perfect person for you, because you fucking deserve it. A-"

The door opened behind him and he fell on his back. In a matter of seconds he found his arms full of Oliver, the man's lips earnestly pressing on his in a warm and strong kiss, right there in the doorway.

"I came out here just to shut you up, you wouldn't stop talking." the biggest grinn was planted in Oliver's face and Connor couldn't help but feel relieved.

"I missed you so much." Connor couldn't hold back the words this time

"I missed you, too, actually."

**Author's Note:**

> This is short and unbetaed, but I wanted to write some kind of reconciliation for them cause I can't freakin' wait till we have the real one. And yes, there'll be a real one, you can't convince me otherwise.


End file.
